Gratitude Journal – Day 183 – December 31, 2014

A year in review….
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The year has come to an end, and many have told me that I should be glad to start a new year, a better one than last. And to that I must say, no - this year brought so many wonderful moments to us. And naturally, if I was in a position to question our Lord’s decision to take myDarlin’ Robert Kenui Pope home, I would have asked him to wait longer. Longer to attend our son’s high school graduation, to watch our grandchildren grow, to give his daughter’s hands in marriage, to retire, to play more music, to meet new friends and cherish the old, to visit his Mom & family in Hawaii, to count down the days of our ten year plan, to hold me in his arms and to sing God’s praises. He was such a busy man, and yet always had time for me, for our family, our friends, and even the strangers he met. And so…. 2014 brought more good days than sad days, as myDarlin’ was here with us for over half of the year.

The year is coming to an end and I miss myDarlin’ as much now, as the day he left. And I write to help remember the simple, everyday moments that made up our life. Cleaning the cupboards and finding Nestle Quik, Cocoa Pebbles, Café du Monde Beignet mix, chocolate linguine and crab meat brings floods of memories made right here in the kitchen. And when he cooked, I was the only one ‘allowed’ in the kitchen so that he didn’t run someone over as he moved quickly chopping, mixing, sautéing, frying, baking, while I moved behind cleaning as he went. I wish we had a video of that because I’m sure that it looked like some new-fangled dance as we moved about. And I found the Chef teddy bear that my Mom gave to him the first year we were together. She was so excited about me dating a Chef that she just had to. And I quickly told her that myDarlin’ would appreciate practical gifts so that he didn’t wind up with a collection of ‘cute’ Chef décor (which he abhorred). And her next gift to you was a set of stainless nesting mixing bowls that is still the staple of the kitchen.

Last year, at this very time we were relaxing together on the beaches of Navarre, Florida – putting our toes in the sand even though it was downright cold. And myDarlin’ fished, like he loved to do – off of the pier, the bridge and the beach. In a new place that we had not been before, we stayed at a friend’s vacation home, made new friends, connected with old friends, went junkin’, fishing, took photographs (one of them even made it into a juried show), he played at a local jam, cooked for me, painted bricks on the wall of the porch and had endless conversations about how blessed we were.

We survived Snowmagedden, both making the long trek home as every other Atlantan did as well. And he so enjoyed his snow days away from work, going out into the snow to play. Even though it was cold, and I would much rather stay inside in the cozy house, I couldn’t miss out on being with him, as he enjoyed the weather with a whole new appreciation.

The spring came and with it the rain…. I offered myDarlin’ an umbrella so many times, to which he always replied, ‘It’s only water Sheri..’ Easy for you to say, I would respond to him who had no hair on his head. And as the weather warmed up, he fished from the dock, we went to the parks and the Square, family came to visit us, we took a quick overnight trip to Navarre (because we could :-)), he helped friends prepare their restaurant to open, and booked the music, and we went to Nashville to attend the wedding of a friend who found the love of his life.

And through all of these times, Kona made music to share at church, Open Mic and gigs. Countless hours of practice in Leilani’s Aloha Lounge provide countless memories for all of us. And as he played, I photographed our life. And five days before he left us, we talked of his retirement in 2015 and decided that we would move back to Hawaii in ten years. And each morning, I would send a text with the number of days left. At 9:32am, even though he was just in the next room, I sent that last text that simply said, ‘3,646’. myDarlin’ has gone on to join God’s House Band (GHB) and pursuing his life-long desire to play music for a living. As our Ohana continues to celebrate him with simple memories or music, he continues to send little signs that let us know that he’s OK and is watching over us.

Today, I am filled with gratitude for the days we had with myDarlin’ during 2014 and all of the years before. We are all the richer for our relationship with him, as he spread Aloha and Christ’s love during his time here with us. And I will carry him in my heart as we move into 2105, for as many days as I am blessed with in this book we call Life.

#KeepLookingUp #LetGoLetGod

Gratitude Journal – Day 182 – December 30, 2014

It’s all about the bass….

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no treble…. I shared with a friend that looking at a photo elicits memories and that I strive to capture those memories so that they will never fade away. So, as with so many other days gone by, I scroll through the photos on the camera roll, to any date before June 22 and life seems strangely normal. It’s almost as if my life, and that of so many others, are measured in terms of WR and AR (with and after Robert). This particular photo was taken on Saturday, April 12, 2014.

myDarlin’ Robert Kenui Pope and I sat in his sister’s living room with the family, and there in the corner stood the bass. And it represented his deep roots in music encouraged by his father. At age 14, he had already been playing piano, ukulele and several brass instruments for a few years, so his father invested $50 for this upright Epiphone bass as a gift for his son.

All through school, and on to his young family, the bass became a member of the family attending concerts, church services and hula shows. So much a member of the family, that the girls shared the back seat with the bass every Sunday on the way to the Lahaina Canary Mall. And as myDarlin’ left his native Hawaii, the bass took up a new residence with his sister.

He anxiously awaited notification of the bass’s arrival here in ATL, and rushed to pick it up from the shipping company. As the clerk brought the case out, myDarlin’ almost broke down in tears as the neck was dangling from the body of the bass. Memories of his father, the joy it brought and all of the care he took of it came pouring out. I don’t even remember him being mad, but rather a great sadness overcame him. He feared there was no way to restore this piece of his life, his history, but knew that if there was anyone that could do it, it was his good friend Jonathan, the luthier.

A few short weeks later, myDarlin’ picked up his bass which had been brought back to life and began to bring it to gigs, open mics and church services. And his Dad smiled down on him to hear the Epiphone making sweet music once again. Almost four years later, a small chip of veneer came off as we put it in the case, so it was back to Jonathan’s again to fix that, get a new set of strings and set up. If I close my eyes, I can still hear the conversation of basses, Hawaii, God and music as I visually explore the surroundings in my mind trying to grasp every detail of the moment.

I am filled with gratitude as the dawn breaks today, for the love of friends and music, the threads that run through this fabric we call life. You might even say it’s all about the bass……

‪#‎KeepLookingUp‬ ‪#‎MusicisLife‬ ‪#‎ItsAllAbouttheBass‬

Gratitude Journal – Day 181 – December 29, 2014

Celebrations….

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‘tis the season. There are some that we look forward to, and others that given a choice we would rather weren’t necessary. We look forward to celebrating our Savior’s birthday every year, and in honor of his special day indulge in gift exchanges and extravagant foods. And the celebrations that we wish weren’t necessary, are those of life. We would give anything, if only it were possible, to have our loved ones back with us even if just for a day.

And we celebrated a belated Christmas with Ohana. Christmas, a celebration that we look forward to, is quite different for all of us this year. myDarlin’ has no gifts under the tree this year, as he and so many others are attending the celebration of the year in person (ahem… in spirit) in heaven. And what to give Jesus, our Lord who has everything a man could want? ….prayer and music, for he has no need for a new fishing rod.

As I stepped through the threshold of her Celebration of Life, I could feel her spirit fill the room. And she wished for all to sing and play, not to cry, but share stories of how their lives intertwined with hers. And I snapped a photo of her dearest friend, and will miss seeing her smiling face next to hers as they sang a favorite tune.
I make my way to two more venues, filled with music and loving friends. I cannot stay away nor feel pity for myself, as myDarlin’ and I worked so hard to become a part of this very community, one that we truly love. (I speak in the present tense as I know that he still loves us from afar) And I must celebrate life every day; with those still with us and those, including myDarlin’ who have gone before us.

And tonight friends shared with me, the impact that myDarlin’ Robert Kenui Pope had on their lives, and their concern for how I am doing. I am filled with gratitude because ‘I get by with a little help from my friends….’ and our Lord, of course! I know that we should not mourn, but celebrate the new eternal life that myDarlin’ and so many others have found this year.

‪#‎KeepLookingUp‬ ‪#‎MusicisLife‬

Gratitude Journal – Day 180 – December 28, 2014

Looking Up…

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It was on this very road I traveled alone today, that seven months ago you gently placed your hand on mine and said very tenderly, “Stop and look up, see what I am seeing.” In retrospect, it was as if every moment of the months following your first heart attack were scripted by our Father to give us the strength to continue on without you here by our sides. Did you know that you would be leaving soon myDarlin’? My mind goes to crazy places as if in a movie script, where you could only give us clues but not really tell us.

Our Father reassures me that you didn’t know, but that it was by his very hand that he guided your path and mine. And I know not where this path will lead me or our Ohana, but I did feel your hand on mine today. Yes, myDarlin’, I am looking up just as so many others are because of you. And I can’t remember if I ever told you thank you for that myDarlin’. Mahalo nui, I love you.

Tonight I am filled with gratitude for your love and your words myDarlin’Robert Kenui Pope, both of which I will carry with me for eternity.

‪#‎KeepLookingUp‬

Gratitude Journal – Day 179 – December 27, 2014

Going home….

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….tomorrow after a fine visit with my Father, a man whom I’ve admired my entire life. It delights me to engage in endless conversations on limitless topics spanning from morning til evening. We agree, we debate, we laugh and I snap a photo. And he said to me, quite out of the blue – Robert Kenui Pope was a good man, and you are fortunate to have had such a great relationship.’ ‘Yes,’ I reply, ‘he was one of a kind, and we were both blessed to have had eleven wonderful years together. Some people never get to experience that at all.’ ‘I know’ he replied, ‘I know.’

And myDarlin’ spoke of his Father, a man he admired for his entire life. He would hold the ring made of gold with the jade stone, telling me stories of his Dad showing him what a loving relationship looked like. Even though his Father passed on early, he expressed that he was blessed to have had such a wonderful man for a Father.

Tonight I am grateful that as I think about myDarlin’, I know he is always by my side and in my heart as I travel on the highways of life. Love, love, love is playing on iTunes… Nothing you can do that can’t be done… it’s easy – all you need is love.

‪#‎KeepLookingUp‬ ‪#‎AllYouNeedisLove‬

Gratitude Journal - Day 178 – December 26, 2014

A strong foundation...

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the most important part in a building, so much more so than the outward appearance, for without it cracks or even collapse may occur. And because of this we have architects who specialize not only in design, but in structural soundness which allow the buildings to stand the test of time.

As I pondered the topic for today’s post, a photo of our youngest grandson playing with his Christmas gift of Legos kept coming to mind. The blocks interlock for strength, and allow a single tower to be built up to a certain height before it begins to topple from the weight of the blocks themselves. And when it topples, we show the children to build a larger base, a foundation, to support that tower.

The responsibility of building a foundation in children’s lives lies on the shoulders of the adults in theirs. And while children certainly don’t come with an instruction manual, it doesn’t forgive us as adults from either instinctively knowing what to do, or researching the right course of action. Just as Hillary said years ago, it takes a village – but who is your village? If you don’t have one built in, go create your community, your village – for it will benefit both you and your child. And make it your priority to teach and be an example to your children of demonstrating love, respect, open communication, curiosity, strength and perseverance,

Dropping off some of myDarlin’s clothing at a local thrift shoppe, I wandered inside to take a look at the various items. And there on the shelf toward the back were vintage building blocks, edges worn smooth from many generations of play. And I thought about the small hands that carefully stacked these blocks over the years, experimenting with building a single tower and can almost hear a kind adult voice explaining the importance of building a foundation. Yes, I would like to purchase these blocks I say to my friend, the clerk, and we place them in a box that will soon be on the front seat of the truck making their way to a new home in Margaritaville. And there on the deck where the breeze pretends to be that of the ocean, children will play with these blocks and adults will teach the importance of building a foundation.

Today I am filled with gratitude for myDarlin Robert Kenui Pope and me having had the privilege of helping to build a foundation for our children and many others, and I hope to continue to do so for the remainder of my days. I am so proud of all of our children as I watch them carry on the legacy. And I pray for all children everywhere to have a good example to follow as they grow and for the adults in their life to recognize and fulfill their responsibility as we are all members of the village.

‪#‎KeepLookingUp‬ ‪#‎ChildrenLearnWhatTheyLive‬

Gratitude Journal – Day 177 – December 25, 2014

You’re not alone…

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God is with you, through every trial and tribulation. And it is because he loves you so much that he sent his only son to earth for you and for me. And it is today that we celebrate his birthday, the day that changed our world for eternity. As I visited with my Dad, he mentioned the magic of children at Christmas time and it brings visions of multiple generations to mind. And like the Ghost of Christmas Past in the Christmas Carol, I see my parents with my sister and me, me with my boys, myDarlin’ with his children and our kids with our grandchildren – all moments frozen in time….

As our Ohana continues traditions and begins new ones as well, we can take comfort knowing that our loved ones are looking over us. And we know that Christmas is truly more than presents, candy canes and egg nog as we celebrate Jesus’ birth.

Today, as I drive through the silent night, I am grateful for all of the Christmas’s I had with myDarlin’ Robert Kenui Pope, and that we’ve all had with our loved ones present and past. And as sure as the dawn will soon break, Jesus is the light of this world.

‪#‎KeepLookingUp‬ ‪#‎JesusistheReason‬

Gratitude Journal – Day 176 – December 24, 2014

Dashing through the snow…
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… or is it rain? Packing up my sleigh, ahem, Tacoma as a fine drizzle coats everything in sight. I put the address in my Garmin (just kidding…. Maps on my iPhone.. LOL!), then make the obligatory stop at Quik Trip just as myDarlin’ and I used to do. A cup of coffee, a bottle of water and some snacks for the road, and lots of napkins because one can never have too many napkins. A nice gentleman holds the door open for me and says, ‘Merry Christmas’ as I walk through, then smile and thank him.

‘Road trip’ I say out loud as if myDarlin’ were right there beside me. And for those that think I have truly lost my mind, I assure you that I do realize he is not right beside me. He lives in my heart where I shall carry him for the rest of my life.

Christmas tunes playing on the radio, take me back to days of my childhood as we traveled to my Grandfathers house to see the family, as well as to the days of my children traveling to their grandparents. There’s just something about taking a road trip, whether near or far, that brings memories of Christmas past to the present. And even though my Dad says that he doesn’t need any presents, I’m sure that this one – my surprise visit – isn’t one that he would return, even with a receipt.

Today, I am grateful for being able to spend the holidays with my Dad, and for each of my Ohana to be able to be with members of our family. For it is this that allows us to spread the love that our Father gives to us. And I know that myDarlin’ Robert Kenui Pope is preparing for the best birthday celebration history has ever known, that of our very own Jesus Christ.

#KeepLookingUp #JesusistheReason

Gratitude Journal – Day 175 – December 23, 2014

Braving the rain..

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running errands and shopping to pick up the last minute Christmas gifts on the list, I pause as I remember the same trips last year with myDarlin’. Sleeping in late this morning, I turned over expecting to see myDarlin’ looking over at me, but instead a pile of pillows lay where he should be. Realizing I am late, I rush out of the door for my hair appointment. Routines and familiar faces certainly help to return some sense of normalcy to everyday life.

I love how my hair came out like every other time that she has done my hair. A co-worker shared with me the other day that he told his children that the most important people in their lives are… God, family (Ohana) and a good mechanic. To that list, I said you must add a great hairdresser! Whew! I am so blessed to have all of the above, and may I add that my hair dresser ROCKS.

I entered the busy warehouse looking for a very specific gift, only to find that it hasn’t been sold there in over two years. Funny how electronics become obsolete so quickly these days. Making my purchases, I stop to get a slice of pizza for lunch as myDarlin’ and I would often do. After taking a couple of bites, I folded the large piece of pizza and almost laughed out loud as a memory came flooding back from last year, right about this same time of year. I couldn’t finish my pizza, and folded it in half holding it out to myDarlin’ as I asked if he wanted it. Instead of taking it from my hands, he reached over and took a bite. “Ouch!” I blurted out loudly as he bit my finger along with the pizza. People turned their heads not knowing what to do, as we almost rolled on the floor laughing. And as got into Tacoma, he turned to me and said, “We have fun, don’t we?” Yes, myDarlin’ we did….

She sent me a text asking if she could leave a gift on the front porch for me, which had me more curious than George the monkey. I got home and excitedly opened the bag which held a finished quilt. A block quilt top that I sewed together years ago, and always told myDarlin’ that one day I would actually finish it. Needless to say, I didn’t, but she did for me adding a backing made from a sheet that belonged to myDarlin’ when we met. And now it lies over the back of the couch where he sat so many evenings ‘crushing candies’.

Today I am grateful for the magical season of Christmas. For memories are made, traditions are begun and carried on. And as the Christmas carols on the Bose softly fill the air, I’ll wrap my new Christmas quilt around me, and close my eyes to see myDarlin’ Robert Kenui Pope in my dreams.

‪#‎KeepLookingUp‬ ‪#‎ChristmasQuilt‬

Gratitude Journal – Day 174 – December 22, 2014

Remember when…

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he said on the Evite, neighbors would come to call on you at Christmas just to share Christmas wishes and some cookies? Last year we held our second annual Christmas Open House on the Sunday before Christmas. Just an open invitation to stop by for coffee, hot chocolate or mulled wine and some Christmas treats to a backdrop of Christmas music over the speakers, no live music, just some tunes to enjoy.

And the friends dropped by, some for a bit and some for a while. And we laughed the afternoon away amidst conversation, cookies and coffee. Every so often, I would look over to myDarlin' Robert Kenui Pope and catch a glimpse of the joy in his eyes as he returned with a look of I love you. Alas, this Sunday was quiet, but if you peek inside the doors of Leilani’s and listen closely with your heart, you’ll sense the spirit of love and fellowship, the spirit of Christmas.

Today, I am grateful that we are able to carry the spirit of Christmas with us wherever we go. For it does not live in any specific place, but rather in our hearts ready to share with others at a moment’s notice.
‪#‎KeepLookingUp‬ ‪#‎SpiritofChristmas‬

Gratitude Journal – Day 173 – December 21, 2014

Perseverance…

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a lesson that our family saw brought to life this weekend. Elijah has been boxing for well over a year, putting in the hard work five days a week at the gym with his big brother, who is a national champion and his dad, who is his coach. In today’s times when video games and watching TV are more the norm than physical activity, it is refreshing to see kids engaged in a sport that requires more than just ‘showing up’ and depending on others to do the hard work.

I am inspired with his can do attitude each time he is matched against his opponent. He listens to his coach and the crowd cheering him on and does his very best each time. There are times when he should have won, and others where the loss was the right call by the judges. And with each loss, there is a life lesson to be had – that it’s not always about winning, but doing your best on a consistent basis. myDarlin’ Robert Kenui Pope and I would often speak of our kids and how sports and music have provided the foundation of teaching many of life’s lessons, and I know that he was always in their corner regardless of the outcome.

With thirteen losses, Elijah went into this weekend’s match with the same can do attitude as always. And his perseverance paid off with his first ever victory. And as he got out of the van upon arriving home, he held his belt high and said this is mine! I wanted to capture his emotions, his account of the match, so I interviewed him. He said, “So, I was actually saying in my head that I may not win, but I’m going to fight! And when we were fighting, he did throw some hard punches, but me – the great warrior – stood in his way with so many jabs and good punches…. And last but not least, the refs called us over and said, the winner….. fighting out of the red corner…. And…. I WAS red.” I asked him how it felt, to which he responded, “Awesome! Everything is cool when you’re part of the team!”

His perseverance paid off, but I saw something more…. Even though this was an individual match, he saw it as a win for the team. And they rejoiced with him.

Today I am grateful not only for Elijah’s win, but all of our wins as we face our everyday matches. Some days we win, some days we lose, but it is with perseverance that we keep on and know that our individual efforts all contribute to God’s team of victorious warriors.

‪#‎KeepLookingUp‬ ‪#‎Perserverance‬ ‪#‎GodTeam‬ ‪#‎HesinYourCorner‬

Gratitude Journal – Day 172 – December 20, 2014

For me? 
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I exclaimed as he handed me a bouquet of red roses soon after we met. I pinched myself and silently wondered if this was a dream. A dozen pieces of God’s own handiwork was his gift to me. I couldn’t remember the last time anyone bought me flowers, wait….. I was a little girl, making every little girl’s dream that she would find her Prince Charming – and he brought flowers to me in my dream. But I am awake, and here he is…. my very own Prince Charming.

And as the petals on the roses began to fall, I gently placed them in a heart bowl that myDarlin’ had chosen for me during one of our first excursions to the antique store. I wanted to preserve them as I treasured that magical moment, the feeling of being the most special woman (or was it little girl) in the world. Little did I know that this would be a regular part of my life….. He laughed when he learned what I was doing, and soon after I realized I didn’t need to hold on to a dream of dried flower petals, because it was my reality every day.

Stopping at the grocery to grab dinner, I found myself in the card aisle – not sure exactly why. And a tear slipped down my face as I ran my fingers over the beautiful words that our gift is the home and memories we made together. Yes, myDarlin’, it is, it is… we are blessed beyond measure.

I place my items on the conveyor belt, as the cashier cheerfully greets me, then hand him a small ticket to donate to families less fortunate. As I am gathering my bags from the cart, I hear a voice in back of me saying, ‘these are for you young lady.’ I turn to find a man with a kind face, wearing a hat very similar to myDarlin’s, holding a bouquet of flowers out to me as a big smile spread across his face. Wow….. I graciously accepted the flowers, thanked him and asked if I could take a photo with him to which he reluctantly agreed.

After having fallen asleep on the couch last night, I opened my eyes to the sight of our simple white Christmas tree adorned with red ornaments and the painting of myDarlin’ with a grin on his face. As I make my way into the kitchen to fix a cup of coffee in the Casa Blanca mug, one of the first I gave to him, I see the flowers on the counter. As I take the cellophane off to place them in the same green vase as the first dozen roses, I notice the label and can’t help but smile as I know that myDarlin’ sent another message to me via the angel with the hat in line yesterday.

!Pura Vida! The Good Life! Family – Music – Food – Flowers

I am filled with gratitude today as I remember a simple moment with myDarlin’ Robert Kenui Pope. As we lay in bed after a full weekend, myDarlin’ turned to me and said, ‘We have a good life Baby.’ And the label on the flowers says it all.

#KeepLookingUp #GoodLife

Gratitude Journal – Day 171 – December 19, 2014

A bright light….
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has gone out and our lives will never be quite the same. Today I read the sad news of a dear friend who was called home to be with our Lord and reflected upon the fact that the timing is never right for us left here on earth. We long to see her bright smile as she enters a room, hear her laughter, feel her genuine warm hugs and listen to her strum her guitar strings.

Today, as days gone by, I am filled with gratitude for the promise of salvation, of everlasting life. And I bow my head to say a prayer for all of her family and friends, the same one that myDarlin’ Robert Kenui Pope prayed for me. Dear Lord, please give them strength and understanding. The journey is difficult, but he will lighten your load if you will ‘trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.’ (Proverbs 3:5)

#KeepLookingUp #TrustintheLord

Gratitude Journal – Day 170 – December 18, 2014

I don’t know…

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how we could do it without God, she said to me. And I told her that God is the only reason that I can make it through and I know that I will see myDarlin’Robert Kenui Pope one day again.

Today my gratitude journal is short and simple, as God’s promise to us is as well. Believe in him, accept him and he will bestow upon you the greatest gift known to man - everlasting life. And as we celebrate this holiday with trees, gifts, festivities, food and song, let us never lose sight of the fact that Jesus is the reason for the season.

‪

#‎KeepLookingUp‬ ‪#‎JesusistheReason‬

Gratitude Journal – Day 169 – December 17, 2014

Defining moments…

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I picked up his well-worn bass case, running my fingers across the stickers - each one of which could tell a story – and stopped on this one…..It reads ‘Visitor 12/14/12 Robert Pope’. And the memories of that day come rushing back, breaking into a wave that crashes onto the shore.

I talked with him just the other night at Open Mic, and we reminisced about that day only two years ago, but what seems like a lifetime away.

myDarlin' Robert Kenui Pope called me as he pulled into the parking deck, something that he had done multiple times, so much so as they knew his truck and his voice at the secured entry. I met him at the main entrance, as he came through the glass doors with his bass in hand. Grinning from ear to ear, he felt so privileged that they (not the proverbial they – but they my co-workers) asked him to play with them…. We stopped at the security desk where he signed in and received this sticker. How were we all to know that it was God’s very own hand that placed the sticker in Robert’s and our lives would never be the same.

After the Open Mic on the patio, we loaded out, and he stayed behind a bit – and told me how much that day meant to him, how it changed his life and his wife’s as well.

myDarlin' took the stage along with the other musicians for an afternoon Christmas party. He smiled that huge smile of his, as he played and looked out over the audience. And he took his spot next to me as I sat in the front row (always best for photographs), and we listened to the husband and wife duo sing ‘Harvest Moon’ so beautifully together.

And when it was all over and we were all putting chairs and tables away, myDarlin’ and I invited our new friends to the Open Mic, and thus began the change in their lives…. and ours. And he and his lovely wife joined us week after week to share their music with us, and myDarlin’ with them.

And he asked for a photo of the sticker - the defining moment that changed his life two years ago, and yet a lifetime away. Here it is my friend…. Mahalo for being an important part of our lives.

Today I am grateful for the musical community that myDarlin’ and I have had the privilege to be a part of. I marvel at how God has used music in our lives to bring people together that need each other. And music is water to my soul, satisfying that thirsty longing for spirituality and love.

‪#‎KeepLookingUp‬ ‪#‎MusicisLife‬ ‪#‎DefiningMoments‬

Gratitude Journal – Day 168 – December 16, 2014

Older….

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and wiser…. During life’s journey, we experience so much and sometimes so little. Whether it be being in the very same good place for so long that we forget to ‘smell the daisies’ or take the small every day events for granted and don’t notice the delightful details in our lives; or in some instances remain in a bad place for so long because it has become familiar and the fear of new adventures is worse than the knowledge of what is.

As I turn the page to the end of myDarlin’s Robert Kenui Pope and my last chapter, I know that we had both moved beyond into the good place, where every moment, every hour, every day was a gift. And we would look back at the journal etched so vividly in our minds, we laughed as we knew that we had become older and wiser.

So many of our friends celebrating milestone birthdays make me pause to reflect and ask them and myself….. What will you do for the rest of your life? For we are not guaranteed tomorrow. And if you are comfortable where this journey has taken you, stop….breathe…. look around you…. what do you see in life’s fleeting moments that you are grateful for? Tell the people in your life how much they mean to you, tell them thank you for a kind gesture, pull up a chair and ask what’s on their mind. And if your journey is not where you want to be or imagined you’d be, stop… breathe…. look around you… know that it’s up to you to make a change. Not sure where to start? Ask a friend; after all we’re all much older and wiser than when we first began. (and now I understand all of those conversations that I overheard as a teen….;-))

I turn the page in life’s book to the next page, the next chapter in my life….and there’s someone missing. I look back again at the last chapter and pause to enjoy the best chapter of any book I have ever co-authored. And when I turn forward again, I see that myDarlin’ gave me the words to start this new chapter… for on that morning almost six month ago, he prayed for the Lord to give me strength and understanding. Yes, that is the beginning and the end – what I write on the pages in between is yet to come.

Today, I am filled with gratitude for as I look back over the past few months, I only
see one set of footsteps on the beach… and it is that of our Lord who has and continues to carry me through this part of the journey. And as I look up, the stars in the sky twinkle and I can hear myDarlin’ say, ‘You should see the view from up here, I can see everything….’

‪#‎KeepLookingUp‬ ‪#‎TurnthePage‬ ‪#‎WriteYourNextChapter‬ ‪#‎TrusttheLord‬

Gratitude Journal - Day 167 – December 15, 2014

Look at the stars….

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she sang... Look how they shine for you….and I made a note on the iPhone as a writing prompt….. And everything you do….

At church this evening, the young musicians soulfully played the cello and the keyboard, as another danced as if she were a butterfly and yet another sweetly sang, ‘What child is this’.

She and I spoke of myDarlin’s description of playing on stage, which he had shared with me many times. ‘You should see the view from up here Baby; I see everything that’s going on.’ And he would often give me a signal with just a blink of his eye or nod of his head that someone I should be greeting had just walked through the doors.

And as baby Jesus lie on Mary’s lap that winter night, while shepherds guard and angels sing – she looked up and sang to her baby, ‘Look at the star, look how it shines for you, and everything you’ll do…’

Tonight as I pulled into the drive, and stepped out of Tacoma, I looked to the sky… I am overflowing with gratitude as I sing to you myDarlin’ Robert Kenui Pope, ‘Look at the stars, Look how they shine for you…. and everything you do…’

‪#‎KeepLookingUp‬ ‪#‎StarofBethlehem‬ ‪#‎LookattheStars‬

Gratitude Journal – Day 166 – December 14, 2014

Living life in…
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stereo. Slowly, ever so slowly, I am going through myDarlin’s clothes and ‘stuff’ (I could be proper and say ‘belongings’, but it’s all really stuff and I know that he would agree.) There are the 135 shirts that we numbered for our Ohana to choose from for their memory quilts, plus at least 25 or so more included in their quilts that never even got numbered. And there are hats, jeans and so many other odds and ends. And….. there is vinyl, lots of vinyl and where there is vinyl, there are record players.

In 2006, we moved into our house and had even more room than in our three bedroom apartment. And myDarlin’ came home one day with a treasure…. It was a RCA Victor stereo console circa 1950’s or 1960’s. He was so excited about this piece of electronics, or was it furniture – or both! With a tube amplifier it has a rich sound not common with iTunes on your iPhone. And his collection of vinyl grew…. One of our last family Sundays with us, myDarlin’ said that we needed another vintage record rack as his two were too full. And he said to me, ‘I don’t think you’ll be able to find one’ – which I took as a personal challenge. I drove around the corner to the local Antique Mall and found it in the first aisle that I walked down. (mind you, I haven’t seen another one since then) As I brought my treasure back in the house, I informed him that he shouldn’t challenge me because I will find it! Laughter bounced back and forth between the walls of our home, as he began to organize his collection.

I pulled up to the door of the small thrift store, and was met by my friend as I brought bags of his clothes and a couple other items to donate. And I went inside to check out the treasures. Lots of fun items, 99% of which I don’t need, and there it was… a Zenith stereo console circa 1960’s complete with radio, record player and a reel to reel player. The speakers on either side of the console open in a vertical shutter style…. and it works! I immediately sent a text to a friend in the vinyl business, then also posted it on my page for others to see and possibly buy to fill their homes with the rich sound of tube amplifiers and vinyl.

I think about the people who owned both our stereo console and the one at the thrift shoppe, and how excited they must have been when they made this major purchase. And I wonder what their vinyl collection consisted of…. Was it the Beatles, Santana, Rolling Stones and Hawaiian records like ours? And did they have so many that they had to buy a wire stand to hold them all? If only pieces of furniture could talk…..

Today, I am grateful for music, and all of the means of playing it. Whether live in person, on the radio, the iPhone, or even on a vintage tube amplified stereo – music is the backdrop to life. And I know that myDarlin’ Robert Kenui Pope is playing today with #GHB(God’s House Band) and is still grinning ear to ear like he always did.

#KeepLookingUp #MusicisLife

Gratitude Journal – Day 165 – December 13, 2014

Steps…
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not the ones leading to your house, but rather to your heart. My step-daughter shared a beautiful post today of a mother to her daughter’s step-mother, and I must admit that it brought tears to my eyes. 

When I met myDarlin’ Robert Kenui Pope, I had two non-negotiables – no one under 40 and must NOT be married. In hind sight, I know now that God would never have sent him to me any other way. And as we talked for four hours on the phone before ever meeting each other, we discovered that the other had children and proceeded to tell each other a little bit about each of them in addition to a myriad of other topics. It was all so new, this feeling of falling off the deep edge into the arms of love, even though I still hadn’t met this man in person. Trust your intuitions I told myself, even though that little twinge of logic told me to be careful. We got so wrapped up in getting to know each other that it was at least a couple of months before we got down to talking of meeting each other’s families.

I think you are the one….. yes, I’m sure you’re the one…. time to meet the family as they are an integral part of who we are.

And I gathered a box to send to the girls…. a pajama party in a box. I wish that I could find photos, but alas it was 11 years ago and I wasn’t quite so organized with my photos then. The box had a chick flick DVD, popcorn, nail polish, four pairs of pajama pants and a disposable camera. I couldn’t wait to meet them, and hoped that they liked me as much as I liked them without even having met them. Over the next year, we met in person and I loved seeing myDarlin’s eyes light up when they stepped off the plane. And the light in his eyes was different than when we gazed into each other’s eyes. It was a father’s love that I was seeing. And my heart grew four sizes….

His young son appeared in the doorway to the plane ramp, accompanied by a flight attendant and well-worn stuffed doggie, whose name I soon learned was Robert. It was as if a flashlight was turned on when myDarlin’ saw his son for the first time in years, and the reflection on his son’s face was the same as I clicked the shutter on my camera. And an already full heart of mine grew yet another size.

We traveled to Florida to visit with my two sons, and myDarlin’ expressed nervousness as we pulled up to the restaurant. The boy’s hearts were quickly won over, as they realized his intentions were based only on pure love. (even though he was extremely grateful that I had a great job ) It was that photo that we had the server take, with myDarlin’, my two sons, our future daughter-in-law and me that is etched in my memory. My youngest even mentioned during myDarlin’s memorial service that my eyes had a sparkle he never knew existed when he saw us together. And as we pulled away, we knew that our family was the best ever.

Perhaps we should change our name to Brady, as we truly had a Brady Bunch. Our hearts were happy and full. And both myDarlin’ and I made sure that our respective new ‘step-children’ knew that our relationships were in addition to, not in competition with what already was, as we celebrated the addition of new sons and daughters – Ohana.

When myDarlin’ left us, our entire Ohana gathered… all of our children, grandchildren, siblings, ex’s and their families. I’ve always known this, but wanted to make sure that everyone had the same understanding. Not one of us ‘owns’ myDarlin’s heart (except for God, but he freely gave it to him…), but each and every one of us claims a spot in his heart.

Today, I am filled with gratitude that I listened to my heart that night long ago as we talked for hours, for it opened doors I could not have imagined at that point. And behind door #3 was an addition to my family, to his family – our children and for that I am forever grateful for. For just as everyone of our Ohana has a place in myDarlin’s heart, there is a mirrored reflection in my heart and forever will be.

#KeepLookingUp #Steps

Gratitude Journal – Day 164 – December 12, 2014

Hallmark commercials….

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As we sat in the living room, the commercial came on of soldiers surprising their loved ones at the holiday….and myDarlin’ Robert Kenui Pope would slowly turn his head toward me with a twinkle in his eye and a slight smile knowing that the tear drops were about to spill from my eyes and down my face. And as our eyes meet, I tell him, ‘you know I can’t help it.’ ‘I know, that’s why I love you,’ he responded.

And as the soldier in the commercial surprised his family, he was met with cries of excitement and disbelief, and folded his family in his big hug. In airports all over the US, troops are welcomed home with cheer and applause to thank them for their service. And I thank them too as they have given their all for our freedom.

And last year, as we pulled up to Tutu’s place (myDarlin’s Mom), she squealed with delight as they embraced in one of the best hugs I have ever witnessed. And a tear ran down my face as I watched this surreal moment. We made our way to the Kona Hotel for dinner with the family, and I’ll never forget her walking past myDarlin, then turning as she giggled, giving him another big hug. Those moments linger in the air in the very places they happened, and in the pages of my mind’s journal.

Today, I am filled with gratitude as I watch your Hallmark commercial in my mind’s eye; you are met with applause and cheering from our Lord and your Dad. And as they say to you, ‘Well done my good and faithful servant’, tear drops spill from my eyes and over my cheeks. I see you look at me with a twinkle in your eye, and know that you are happy and will be right there cheering me on when my day comes.

‪#‎KeepLookingUp‬