(click here to read Facebook comments)
not the ones leading to your house, but rather to your heart. My step-daughter shared a beautiful post today of a mother to her daughter’s step-mother, and I must admit that it brought tears to my eyes.
When I met myDarlin’ Robert Kenui Pope, I had two non-negotiables – no one under 40 and must NOT be married. In hind sight, I know now that God would never have sent him to me any other way. And as we talked for four hours on the phone before ever meeting each other, we discovered that the other had children and proceeded to tell each other a little bit about each of them in addition to a myriad of other topics. It was all so new, this feeling of falling off the deep edge into the arms of love, even though I still hadn’t met this man in person. Trust your intuitions I told myself, even though that little twinge of logic told me to be careful. We got so wrapped up in getting to know each other that it was at least a couple of months before we got down to talking of meeting each other’s families.
I think you are the one….. yes, I’m sure you’re the one…. time to meet the family as they are an integral part of who we are.
And I gathered a box to send to the girls…. a pajama party in a box. I wish that I could find photos, but alas it was 11 years ago and I wasn’t quite so organized with my photos then. The box had a chick flick DVD, popcorn, nail polish, four pairs of pajama pants and a disposable camera. I couldn’t wait to meet them, and hoped that they liked me as much as I liked them without even having met them. Over the next year, we met in person and I loved seeing myDarlin’s eyes light up when they stepped off the plane. And the light in his eyes was different than when we gazed into each other’s eyes. It was a father’s love that I was seeing. And my heart grew four sizes….
His young son appeared in the doorway to the plane ramp, accompanied by a flight attendant and well-worn stuffed doggie, whose name I soon learned was Robert. It was as if a flashlight was turned on when myDarlin’ saw his son for the first time in years, and the reflection on his son’s face was the same as I clicked the shutter on my camera. And an already full heart of mine grew yet another size.
We traveled to Florida to visit with my two sons, and myDarlin’ expressed nervousness as we pulled up to the restaurant. The boy’s hearts were quickly won over, as they realized his intentions were based only on pure love. (even though he was extremely grateful that I had a great job ) It was that photo that we had the server take, with myDarlin’, my two sons, our future daughter-in-law and me that is etched in my memory. My youngest even mentioned during myDarlin’s memorial service that my eyes had a sparkle he never knew existed when he saw us together. And as we pulled away, we knew that our family was the best ever.
Perhaps we should change our name to Brady, as we truly had a Brady Bunch. Our hearts were happy and full. And both myDarlin’ and I made sure that our respective new ‘step-children’ knew that our relationships were in addition to, not in competition with what already was, as we celebrated the addition of new sons and daughters – Ohana.
When myDarlin’ left us, our entire Ohana gathered… all of our children, grandchildren, siblings, ex’s and their families. I’ve always known this, but wanted to make sure that everyone had the same understanding. Not one of us ‘owns’ myDarlin’s heart (except for God, but he freely gave it to him…), but each and every one of us claims a spot in his heart.
Today, I am filled with gratitude that I listened to my heart that night long ago as we talked for hours, for it opened doors I could not have imagined at that point. And behind door #3 was an addition to my family, to his family – our children and for that I am forever grateful for. For just as everyone of our Ohana has a place in myDarlin’s heart, there is a mirrored reflection in my heart and forever will be.
#KeepLookingUp #Steps
-Edit-Edit.jpg)
No comments:
Post a Comment