Falling back….
At 2:00am this morning our clocks all turn back one hour in time….. For a moment I find myself wishing that I was falling back into myDarlin Robert Kenui Pope's arms even if just for another hour, and wake to find myself staring at the computer screen, at these words as the Elvis song ‘I love you too much’ plays through the speakers he set up just weeks before he left. Our devices make the time change easier to remember, or is that hard to forget?
As we arrive at the Central State Hospital this morning, I laugh to hear her talk with the site director about the beautiful view on the way in, with the sun sparkling on the lake and highlighting the hay bales. You see, the hum of the tires and motion on the pavement rendered me helpless against the power of slumber.
Excited to begin the shoot, a group of twenty plus women (and a couple of token men, LOL!) listened to a brief overview of the history of the nearly 2,000 acre complex, housing up to 12,000 patients at one point, an update on future plans and directions on what areas were available to shoot. And we broke off into small groups heeding the warning that some doors once entered were locked preventing reentry without calling the director’s cell phone. And it left me to wonder if a signal could even be picked up from behind those locked doors……
We wander the desolate halls, one much the same as the others with the only difference being the pattern of curtains and peeling paint….A sense of sadness fills the atmosphere, which combined with the ever so slight hint of mold makes one long for the crisp, fall Georgia air. And we come to the end of the hall – double doors lead to a deck with a park bench, only it is surrounded on all sides by wire. I think about the patients longing to escape their stuffy rooms, and never ending halls to enjoy the fresh air. I wonder if they felt like caged animals and if they even knew that because of the time change, there was one more hour added to their stay which already felt like eternity.
Today finds me missing myDarlin’, the same as every other day since he left us. Falling back – what would I give for one more hour with him….. or should we just press forward, eliminating standard time so that I would be one hour closer to being with him again in eternity?
Today I am filled with gratitude as I look up to see the bright sun shining down on us, cutting right through the cold autumn air and I know that he is with me always. He is my Soulmate, and our love knows no time; past, present, future – but is for all of eternity.
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