Gratitude Journal – Day 214 – January 31, 2015

Happy Retirement…..

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‘We’ll miss you’ said the beautifully crafted signs which adorned the tables sprinkled with bits of confetti and noise makers. And so 29 years had passed from the time he walked through those Orange doors since the shoppe he worked in had closed down. As he listened to so many tell their story of how they met him, worked for and with him, I know that this humble man was proud. Not proud in a boastful way, but in being able to look back and see the positive impact he was able to have because he allowed himself to be a vessel of God’s grace, love and goodwill.

And when all but one of the speakers had taken the stage (ok, podium), he asked if he could speak the crowd of well over 100 that had gathered in his honor. I, and everyone else in the room, intently watched and listened as he shared with us why he does what he does (work and his own non-profit organization), and in the end why we do what we do –our family. He teared up as he thanked his wife for standing by his side for all of the years, and told his daughters and their newest addition, his granddaughter that he loves them.

As I took photos of this momentous occasion, I looked around the room and could feel the love and respect for this man who would soon leave our everyday world as we in the office know it to go explore his horizons, his dreams and wishes, his passion for God and his family. And it took me back to a time, only a few years back, when myDarlin’ Robert Kenui Pope retired from his job. There was a party very much like this one, speakers very much like we heard today, and a man who lived his life for others very much like the man we are honoring today. And he left the kitchen to explore his horizons, his dreams and wishes, his passion for God and his family.

Today, I am grateful for God placing beautiful spirits in our everyday lives that show us what it looks like to truly walk the talk, to truly live by an honorable set of values at work, on stage, on the trail, at home – on this journey we know as life.

‪#‎KeepLookingUp‬ ‪#‎HappyRetirement‬

Gratitude Journal – Day 213 – January 30, 2015

We want you back…

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the advertisement email in your Yahoo account read. I look up to the skies filled with stars on a dark, cold night and find myself wishing the same thing. The laughter, the love, the friendship we shared everyday myDarlin’, what I would give to have you back.

Tonight I dined with our daughters on sushi at the Orient Express myDarlin’, and talked of days gone by. TimeHop brought days of Snowmaggedon memories flooding back; memories of the long commute home and the days that followed as we waited the weather out. And I love the photo of us myDarlin’, you in your Saints beanie that the boys gave you for Christmas just a short month prior, and me in my pink hat made by my little sister Mary before she left this big blue and green ball of ours.

We thought back to the times we came here before… to eat dinner in this old train car made into a restaurant and I smile to myself as I remember how much you love trains myDarlin’. We met here to have dinner ‘just because’; because it had been too long since we got together. It was shortly after that that you and I decided that we could do or create anything we wanted, and so the tradition of Pope Sunday dinners began. Our day just to hang out together with family, whether at home or out – the important thing was to be together.

And another photo shows on the TimeHop app, with a photo of my Malibu Barbie (aka my car) and this narrative:

New to me! It’s been ~ 2.5 months since that dreadful day when my long time vehicle, the 2001 Cavalier, failed emissions. It was a hard decision not to keep pouring $$ in, $300 here, $500 there and so on and so on.

myDarlin’ Robert Kenui Pope and I have been closer than usual during the past couple of months as we shared (or should I say that he shared) Tacoma. We laughed today because we are lucky that we get along so well. Otherwise, sharing a ride in at 4am and him having to come back to this side of town to get me in the evening would’ve been really tough.

Thanks to my son Mike for negotiating a great deal on the ‘New to Me’ 2007 Chevy Malibu! It runs well, has a huge trunk and looks good too! And so tomorrow I sleep in a bit later than usual and still get to work before the 8’o clock crowd. Aloha!

Tonight I am filled with gratitude as I fondly look back over these memories and so many others. One of your daughters said it best. ‘We were oh so fortunate to have him for all those years. He taught me a lot about how to live life to the fullest.’ And yes myDarlin’, we want you back too.

‪#‎KeepLookingUp‬

Gratitude Journal – Day 212 – January 29, 2015

Almost home….
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One year ago, we listened to warnings of impending bad weather coming in fast and were advised to get on the road to go home as quickly as possible. I called myDarlin’ Robert Kenui Pope to see if he was leaving work, and he said he would be working a bit longer before taking the expressway home as traffic wasn’t that bad yet. And so I gathered my laptop and files, took a photo of the parking deck from my office window already dusted in snow with a layer of ice directly below, and headed out the door.

And my car was nice and toasty, my phone charger ensuring that I would be able to maintain contact with everyone, the radio playing to keep me entertained and up to date on what was going on with everyone trying to do the same as me – just to get home. myDarlin’ and I spoke and he was going to go home to get the fixings for soup and go to the church where a shelter had been set up for anyone who needed to get out of the cold could do so. It appeared to be smooth sailing down I-75 for him for miles, and then as the temperatures continued to drop, it hit…. gridlock, like the rest of the ATL. We checked in on and off with each other, our kids, our friends, to make sure everyone was safe and we thanked God for his blessings in that.

A particular moment that stood out for me was that after over seven hours in the car, my gas tank was beginning to get low and I wasn’t quite sure I could make it home without running out of gas. And I made a decision to turn off of the road just a couple of blocks away to get gas, which resulted in a two hour detour to get back to the same spot I was. Ironically once I got back to the intersection where I had turned off, I looked to find that there was no one on the road in front of me. I wondered if it was just so dangerous that no one wanted to try it, and then felt an inexplicable nudge to just go for it. I crossed the intersection onto practically deserted roads, and was rewarded for my leap of faith as it took me less than 30 minutes to get home from there. Pulling in to the drive 9 hours and 40 minutes later, I was ecstatic to see that myDarlin’ was also home. As we gave thanks for our safe journey home, he regretted that he wasn’t able to make his way to the church as the roads were too dangerous to go back out on.

In retrospect, the commute represents our struggles in life, our wanting to control a situation only to find that we are really not in control, but must wait patiently along with everyone else. And as we come to the intersection in life where we do have a choice, we will be rewarded by our Lord for believing with a smooth ride the rest of the way home.

The sun rose the next morning, like every other morning but today, a pristine layer of fluffy white snow covered everything. And myDarlin’ excitedly put on his jacket, hat and gloves and headed outside like a small child would to play in the snow. Ever since his heart attack that past March, he approached every moment of every day with a new wonder and this one was extra special. And so, as much as I dislike being cold, I bundled up and took my camera out to join him. And those moments will be forever etched in my mind. The joy he had building a tiny snowman, throwing snowballs, pretend snow skiing on the street, eating snow and simply looking up as he threw a handful of snow to the heavens.

I am filled with gratitude today for the love and protection of our Lord on that day one year ago, and for every day before and after. I thank him for giving myDarlin’s childlike spirit, one filled with warm Aloha on a cold winters day, as he gave thanks for yet another day here on this big green and blue (and white that day) ball that hangs in the space we call the universe. And if we trust in the Lord as we come to the intersections of our life, we can experience his grace on the rest of the ride ‘home’.

#KeepLookingUp

Gratitude Journal – Day 211 – January 28, 2015

Ordinary moments

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….. ‘I love how you tell us about ordinary moments, as well as those that are breathtaking’, she said to me as we met for lunch with a friend. And it is so, because not every moment in our lives take our breath away, but are special nonetheless. Today was a study in ordinary, my new ordinary.

Dogs bark… so many dogs, but I don’t have any dogs – ugh, it is my alarm or should I say alarms? Once sleep comes, it is so delicious that I hesitate to let it go, but alas daybreak is calling my name. And God rewards me in a major way as I step out of the front door, with crisp winter air and a sky like only he can create. I am tempted to grab a quilt, place it on the front lawn (or what is left of it), lie on my back and see what abstracts present themselves, but alas it is off to work for me.

I spoke with a friend on the way home from work, and she said to me, ‘I love that you love your job.’ Me too, me too. I recall a conversation today with a new team member asking me to share a couple of tips or advice. Always remember that everything we do impacts associates, and we must take that responsibility seriously. I pause, reflect and know that the same holds true for our personal lives. Everything we do, whether we realize it or not, impacts another; positively or otherwise – and the choice is ours and ours alone to live by our values and do the right thing.

Conversations in person and on devices with the kids today make me proud and honored to be a mother. Ordinary conversations with extraordinary people leave me feeling fulfilled, and I know that myDarlin’ is so proud of each and every one of our children and grandchildren.

Work, family, friends, laughter, photography, kids boxing – those are my ordinary moments today. I am grateful that God has blessed me with the strength and understanding that Robert Kenui Pope asked for me during his prayer. And as I look up to the sky, I can only smile as I remember myDarlin’ saying to me one evening after a gig, ‘You should see the view from here, you should see what I see.’

‪#‎KeepLookingUp‬

Gratitude Journal – Day 210 – January 27, 2015

Looking back…

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one sees how truly special the moment really was. Forever frozen in time on a warm summer eve will be the last time myDarlin’ Robert Kenui Pope played bass on the patio of Ronnie John’s Sunset Grille….

He woke from a well-deserved nap after work, and I showed him the two freshly washed Aloha shirts I had scored at the thrift shoppe for him the day prior. He chose the one with cars and tried his best to convince me that there was no need to iron the shirt, at which I chuckled and ironed it anyway. We pulled into the parking lot at twilight. The soulful music easily drifted through the open window into the atmosphere surrounding the pale yellow building framed by the deep blue sky, and the sign read: Great Food, Great Music, Awesome Times. And all three had proven to be true not only that night, but many before and even many since…
- Great food – myDarlin’ simply loved the cuisine that took him back to his Hawaiian home; Tuna Poke (which was subsequently named ‘Blue Hawaii’ after myDarlin’), Chicken Katsu plate lunch and Loco Moco to name a few.
- Great music – myDarlin’ was ‘in charge’ of booking the music and delighted in bringing top quality talent in to entertain the guests.
- Awesome times – the state of Aloha is created in an instant by those who live it. It was apparent that laughter, love, music, dancing and friendship filled the space between the walls and vinyl windows of the patio, and those memories will linger in my heart for eternity.

Another wonderful evening with friends, Ohana, like so many before. As hard as I try, I cannot remember the song that they played as myDarlin’ sat in, but I do remember the feeling. It was one of happiness knowing that he was and we were grateful for the wonderful life we had, not knowing that just hours from then it would come to an end as we knew it.

Today, I am grateful. Grateful for all that our Lord has given to me, to us, to our Ohana as we traverse this journey called life for we are not guaranteed tomorrow, or even the next moment. And as sleepiness overcomes me this evening, I look up and am reminded of a childhood prayer. Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take. God bless myDarlin’, my family, my friends and especially those who are in need of your boundless grace and mercy.

‪#‎KeepLookingUp‬

Gratitude Journal – Day 209 – January 26, 2015

One of a kind….

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that’s what each of my seesters are, but yet at the same time all the same. After the last ladies left the house today, I chuckled as I thought of what myDarlin’ Robert Robert Kenui Pope would have done if he were here. He would most likely have said, ‘you ladies need space, so I’ll go see a movie’, yep – I’m pretty sure of that.

As we gathered to put our vision boards together, our personalities shone through our finished boards. Some had researched, planned and printed everything for their board in advance; some came in with no plan what so ever; some were very deliberate in design, and others free flowing. And what is common to all of us is the need for love, friendship and acceptance; why in fact that is true not only of women, but men as well.

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.

Today I am filled with gratitude to be a part of a wonderful group of women, each traveling their own unique journey, but all on the quest to find love, friendship and acceptance.

‪#‎KeepLookingUp‬ ‪#‎LoveFriendshipAcceptance‬

Gratitude Journal – Day 208 – January 25, 2015

A vision…
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for your life…. Do you have one? What are you doing to make it happen? myDarlin’ and I did have a vision, and were on our way to making it happen. It’s ironic how we pray, we plan and we take action only to find that God had a different plan. And the proverbial saying that ‘life is about how you handle plan B’ rings truer than ever for me today.

They say that hind sight is 20/20, and I believe that to be true too. Looking back, I think that God wanted us to have a plan, as the planning brought action and living in the moment. And we planned for myDarlin’s Robert Kenui Pope retirement, that I would continue to work and he would turn his sights on music… and then, less than a week before he left us we put the biggest plan either of us ever had in place. The ten year plan would take us back to his homeland of warm breezes, sandy beaches and waves crashing to the shore.

As much as I want to hold on to our original plan, it is no longer….. and I must create my plan B. And as I pray, I know that as much as I am responsible for myself, that I must truly ‘Let Go and Let God’ to realize and live plan B, as it will present itself. And to keep myself focused, I created a vision board months ago during a gathering of other ladies whose spouses had also gone to be with the Lord.

And my vision includes focusing on God, family and friends; my career and retirement (10 years); health, happiness and home. I see it every morning as it hangs on the refrigerator and believe, as many others do, that praying and focusing on it, in addition to living with intention greatly influences positive results.

The email in my inbox caught my eye, ‘Why friends are the Key to our Happiness, according to science’ was the subject line. And I couldn’t help but smile at all of the topics, but this one particularly peaked my interest. Funny thing is that you already know these things, but here’s proof that it really does make a difference.

Friendship 101
- Get out your date book (does anyone really carry paper anymore?) and make a date! Regular contact with 10 or more friends significantly increases happiness and lengthens life. (CHECK!)
- Keep in touch!
o Send a post card (I’m so bad about snail mail, but know there’s something so special about a hand written note…
o Text just to say ‘hi’ (CHECK! Need to do this more often)
o Email an old photo with you and an out of touch pal (does Throw back Thursday on Facebook count?)
o Keep a calendar of birthdays and reach out. (CHECK)
o Show up for the good as well as the bad.. (CHECK)
- Social Media – A Western Illinois University study shows that social networks are neither good or back for friendships, it’s the WAY we choose to communicate that has an impact. Kindness and caring is still the ticket – online or off.

And today our house will be filled with friends, friends from all walks of life getting together to share fellowship, food, laughter and their visions. And the house will look like one big art class with magazines, scissors and glue sticks strewn about as we create vision boards. We will throw negativity to the winds, and focus on the positive as we look up for inspiration.

Today I am grateful for Ohana, for a life time of love & memories with myDarlin’, and for God’s guidance as I traverse the waters of Plan B.

#KeepLookingUp #PlanB

Gratitude Journal – Day 207 – January 24, 2015

On a cold and grey….

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Chicago mornin…. he sang as myDarlin’ Robert Kenui Pope and I sat a few feet away. And even though we both grew up listening to this song by ‘The King’, this was somehow different. I close my eyes as myDarlin’ wraps his arms around me, knowing that I will soon be reduced to tears.

A poor little baby child is born….in the ghetto
and his mama cries….

for as I place myself in the young mother’s world, I know that she is just a girl with dreams and ambitions for herself and her child. My heart aches for her and her little man as I reflect on how each of us only wants the best for our children.

….cause if there's one thing that she don't need, it's another hungry mouth to feed…In the ghetto

In the line at the checkout, there hangs a tear pad making it easy to make a difference by donating $1, $3 or $5 to the cause to help feed the hungry. It breaks my heart to see how many people won’t part with even $1 to help others. (realizing that many may be donating in other ways or just can’t afford it) And the cheerful cashier with the bright red lipstick and rosy cheeks says, ‘thank you and bless you’ to me and others each time we hand her the ticket.

Over the years, we have the honor to see and hear him pouring his very heart and soul into this music, and each time he asks for requests, it is this song I ask for. And each and every time, I cry as I put myself in her place realizing that no matter how far we have come that there will always be hungry mouths to feed.

Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will repay him for his deed. Proverbs 19:17

One of the lessons that myDarlin’ and I learned is that whatever we put out into the universe, comes back ten-fold… sometimes it manifests itself immediately, and others over time – but I can assure you that it is real. Act with kindness and it will be repaid, give with generosity and you will never want.

myDarlin’ had booked him to play long before he left us, and as I sat there on the patio listening to him, he asked for requests. ‘In the ghetto’, I replied and he began to sing…. I closed my eyes as a tear slipped down my cheek, and felt myDarlin’s arms around me as if it were the very first time we saw him play….

Today, on a cold and grey morning, I am grateful for memories of myDarlin’, for the songs of our friends and the ability to make a small difference in the lives of others every day.

‪#‎KeepLookingUp‬ ‪#‎MakeaDifference‬

Gratitude Journal – Day 206 – January 23, 2015

And I write….

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because I made a commitment to myDarlin’ Robert Kenui Pope and to myself to share our fishbowl story. It is one of working hard and playing hard, of laughter and tears, of friends and family, of major events and everyday moments, yesterday and today. The truth is that we are everyday people living ordinary lives, but choose to see through the lens of our Lord.

If we stop to think about the wonder of everyday life, we would realize how extraordinary it really is. Each morning as I open my eyes, I am met with a flood of colors; whether bright and cheery, dark or grey, they are all of nature - God’s very own palette. And every color in a box of crayons is just a copy of one that waits outside of our front door. I close my eyes and am still for moments of prayer…. and in those quiet times I feel my own heart beat and thank God for life itself. And I stretch, placing my hand over my mouth in a wide yawn and feel the miracle of touch.

The very sight of him, the sound of his heartbeat, the gentleness of his touch; the everyday ordinary moments are what I miss so much. And as I look to the heavens in prayer, I am filled with gratitude, and thank God for ordinary moments that are really quite extraordinary.

‪#‎KeepLookingUp‬ ‪#‎LivinginaFishBowl‬

Gratitude Journal – Day 205 – January 22, 2015

Seven months….

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gone, but I carry him with me everywhere”, your sweet daughter wrote on your Facebook page myDarlin’. And my heart breaks for all of our Ohana as we miss you more than words can convey. Even though we left nothing unsaid, there’s so much I’d love to tell you myDarlin’…..

And so I talk to you from my ‘Good Mornin’ Darlin’ to ‘Honey, I’m home’ at night, as I drive home from Open Mic and after everyone leaves the house from one of our get togethers. I tell you how much we miss you and love you, ask advice, share happy news and sad, and tell you how much everyone asks about you.

Our dear friend sent me a text this evening to say, ‘where are you? Everyone’s asking where you are’ and it immediately took me back to the rare time or two when I missed the Kona Open Mic and you sent me a text saying, ‘Everyone’s asking where you are.’ myDarlin, we were inseparable in life, and now in spirit. I love you.

Today my heart is filled with gratitude as I know that myDarlin’ Robert Kenui Pope is with our Lord, and even though he is not physically by our side, he watches over each of us as we navigate the waters of this life without him.

‪#‎KeepLookingUp‬ ‪#‎MissingYou‬

Gratitude Journal – Day 204 – January 21, 2015

Hope….

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is an optimistic attitude of mind based on an expectation of positive outcomes related to events and circumstances in one's life. Yes, that about sums it up for me, as I think about the hopes and dreams myDarlin’ and I had for the future.

As I checked in at one of our facilities, the guard asked me to sign the visitors log. Sheri Garza-Pope, I wrote and then asked myself, ‘just where are you visiting Sheri?’ Is it truly this facility at this moment in time, today a block on a wall calendar or simply a breath in this universe of ours. With pen in hand, she asked me my name, to which I replied, ‘Sheri Garza-Pope’ and she handed it to me. I read it, and almost told her she had it wrong – but on second thought realized it was another sign. And on the name tag was written the word, ‘HOPE’.

We set up for the shots and met wonderful associates who truly value being part of the Orange family. And as she asked me when they could see the results of the shoot, she was surprised, but then smiled as I was taking a photograph of a seemingly ordinary object. I showed her my view and she marveled at how something so ordinary would be so extraordinary. For the corner posts that repeat themselves over and over throughout the facility are merely arrows reminding us to ‘Keep Looking Up’.

Today I am filled with gratitude for hope as it springs eternal for me knowing that one day, soon or far, I will see myDarlin’ Robert Kenui Pope once again.

‪#‎KeepLookingUp‬ ‪#‎HopeSpringsEternal‬

Gratitude Journal – Day 203 – January 20, 2015

Music is…..

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I spoke with her about life, about fulfillment, about passion and she told me that she didn’t really have a passion like I do in photography. And the more we talked, the more she related specific bands and even more so, specific songs with important events in her life. And what she said next was profound, ‘I guess, when I think about it -

Music is my photography…….

Today I am filled with gratitude for the gift of music that our Lord bestowed upon us, for it is music that calms the soul as well as stirs the soul. Another evening at an open mic; with some still searching for the gift, and others sharing the gifts they have found with others. And I think back to our conversation as we looked out the window over the mountains, and close my eyes whispering, ‘Yes, music is my photography too sweet friend.’

‪#‎KeepLookingUp‬ ‪#‎MusicisLife‬

Gratitude Journal – Day 202 – January 19, 2015

Trust…..

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in the Lord as you make your way through this life and I can make a promise that it will make the load lighter and the journey easier. That is not to say that you will not encounter hardship and trials even to the point where you wonder if you can take anymore, but it is truly by faith that we can trust that there is a plan for us. We may not see it today, or even tomorrow, but looking back you’ll see that there was a reason.

My iPhone is almost ‘dead’ and as I plug it in to a port on my laptop, it asks (not out loud of course) ‘Trust’ or ‘Don’t Trust’. For if you ‘Trust’ this computer, your settings and data will be accessible from this computer when connected. And I thought about relationships, ever so grateful that myDarlin’ and I never had to stop to ask that question, our life had an automatic ‘Always Trust’ each other, for that is one of the building blocks of love.

Trust – your heart will be accessible when you are connected.
It’s one of those intangibles that is so incredibly easy that many don’t trust Trust. As I look around, so many of our Ohana are entering the Fall and even Winter of our lives, not knowing if a storm will come to take us tomorrow as we are not guaranteed our next breath. And I wonder how many of us have found happiness, not status and money, but true happiness with who we are and who we build our lives around.

If you know myDarlin’ Robert Kenui Pope and me, you may already know that we didn’t argue, as crazy as that may sound. Did we agree on everything? No, of course not. But we trusted that both of us always had the best for each other in their hearts. And we realized that at this point in our lives, there’s not much to argue about and it is time to truly live our lives, focusing on what’s important – each other, God, Ohana……

Today I am grateful for trust; trusting myself, my Ohana and my Lord. I look to the heavens and pray for all who don’t have trust in their lives, to give our Lord a chance, for he is good. Trust; if you trust in the Lord, you can trust Trust.

‪#‎KeepLookingUp‬ ‪#‎TrustintheLord‬

Gratitude Journal – Day 201 – January 18, 2015

Vivian….
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Maier. The mystery woman, the photographer…. a one shot wonder. As a dear friend and I settled in to watch the documentary, her lovable doggie rested his head on my arm…. monotone voices and non-descript music….. and soon I heard her ask, should we watch this another time? In this life where we go, go, go until we can’t go any more, a moment of quiet often brings uninvited sleep. myDarlin’ would often wake me under the same circumstances and chuckle at the fact that I rarely watch any movie all of the way through. The irony in all of this is that exhaustion is necessary for sleep…

Vivian has caught the imagination of a world obsessed with taking photos; both for photographers and the rest of the world. But in this day of smart phones & devices, does the rest of the world consider themselves photographers too? To the photographers who are always framing the environment, it is amazing that she was able to capture her moments in a single shot - as we often shoot many just to get the ‘money shot’. One of the interviewees said that people often mistook her vintage Rolleiflex camera as part of her quirky persona, which allowed her in part to blend in. And I think of today’s time, where the iPhone has much the same effect as no one raises an eyebrow to the person taking the photo, but the moment one raises a DSLR to their eye all heads turn. One must wonder what would be if Vivian had a digital camera…

And she documented the times with her street photography and environmental shots, so much so that one is able to recreate her life via the photographs and collections of notes, tickets, etc. The ‘selfies’ in her collection make me pause to wonder if she was taking them, knowing that no one else would. And they say she didn’t want attention, but perhaps she was crying out for it.

A roll of film, twelve precious shots, documented her ordinary day dropping the kids off for school, then riding the train downtown to walk into other’s lives, finding art in the process. To do this we must carry our cameras everywhere…. Wait! We all do with our smart phones….. and I can look back at any given day on my phone, and let you know what I was doing as it is very well documented with photos. They (you know, the proverbial ‘they’) say that a picture is worth a thousand words, and I must agree. For it is by these photos, that precious moments are captured like splashes of raindrops caught at a high shutter speed as they hit the puddle. While no one is exactly sure ‘how’ Vivian learned the technical aspects of photography, we do know that she ‘had an eye’ for composition. And in our own lives, we must learn the ‘technicalities’ so that they are second nature and we can focus on framing our lives, living our lives, being in the moment.

Today I am filled with gratitude that Vivian has been discovered, and her life and talents shared with the world. And as well, I am grateful that I was able to document my precious time with myDarlin’ Robert Kenui Pope through photographs not only for me, but others who loved him too. I challenge you; my friends, my Ohana, to walk into life, then pause to look up and you will be amazed at the art of everyday life. Take what you want, it’s already yours.

#KeepLookingUp #WalkIntoLife

Gratitude Journal – Day 200 – January 17, 2015

Tacoma….

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one of his prized possessions, sat silent in the drive after he left us… Hangers and a t-shirt in the back seat, along with his boots and Saints flags…. sand from our last beach trip to Florida less than a month prior leaked from the hole in the bottom of the paper cup and filled the cup holder. A Koa wood honu hangs from the rear view mirror, surfboard wax and Leilani hula girl in the front cup holder – all reminders of moments gone by that linger in the air and our minds.

myDarlin’ Robert Kenui Pope used to tease me about my little Cavalier saying that those cars were never meant to last, as I drove it until it would go no more….. Over the next few months we shared Tacoma while we searched for a good, used car within a certain price range as I didn’t want any car payments (call me cheap, frugal or whatever….). And I cherish those memories, especially when he had to be at work at 5:00AM. Nothing like the looks one gets from security when walking in to work at 4:30AM. Then Malibu Barbie came on the scene, and we no longer needed to share a ride….. so every once in a while I would drop my car at my work and ride home with him from the Open Mic so that we could just be together and talk, then would ‘catch a ride’ in with him the next morning. The little things are so big….

And over the holidays of 2013, Tacoma had to go away to the shop, and ‘Big Red’ (Dodge pickup) filled in for a couple of weeks. We got the call on Christmas Eve that Tacoma was ready and immediately drove over. I love the photo here as it speaks volumes… Santa got his baby back, the only one for him, the one he planned to keep for the rest of his days.

Yesterday as I picked Tacoma up from the shop, and as I slipped behind the wheel, clicked my seat belt, then placed my hand on the dash and said, ‘Welcome back Tacoma.’ Today I am grateful for memories of Tacoma moments with myDarlin’ that linger in the air and our minds. And as I run my finger through the sand in the cup holder, the Koa wood honu still hangs from the rear view mirror against the backdrop of the setting sun. Aloha myDarlin’…..

‪#‎KeepLookingUp‬ ‪#‎TacomaLove‬

Gratitude Journal – Day 199 – January 16, 2015

Drive Safely….

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she said to me as we walked past the security desk down the hall flanked with banners of our company values and into the parking lot. I paused to look at her, one of the security associates also leaving for the day, and she smiled. In that very moment, I heard myDarlin’ Robert Kenui Pope and thought to myself that as many of our common sayings I remember every day, that isn’t one of them and was so grateful to hear it again....

And when I would work late, I would call him to let him know I was on my way – and every time without fail, he would say ‘Drive Safely Baby…’ Thank you for sending that message to me tonight myDarlin’. As I turn on to the expressway, I think of the many nights after Open Mic at the Pizza Exchange when I would say, ‘I will follow you.’

I will follow you
Follow you wherever you may go
There isn't an ocean too deep
A mountain so high it can keep me away

I must follow you
Ever since you touched my hand I know
That near you I always must be
And nothing can keep you from me, you are my destiny

Life’s journey presents each of us with challenges, and sometimes because of our experiences we reserve a small piece of ourselves that no one is ever allowed to see or touch. And I am no exception, that is until I met myDarlin’, my soulmate. And I gave myself to him, heart and soul with no reservations.

Today I am grateful that I found my soulmate and thank God for every moment we spent hanging on to this big blue and green ball spinning in the night sky. And in a sleepy daze, I can barely hold my eyes open as he bends over and gently kisses me. ‘Drive safely myDarlin’ I say as I drift away to dreams of days gone by.

‪#‎KeepLookingUp‬ ‪#‎DriveSafely‬ ‪#‎IWillFollowYou‬

Gratitude Journal – Day 198 – January 15, 2015

Reframing…..
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how you look at joy….. He came to give a talk on creativity this evening, how to ‘get unstuck’ and one could hear a pin drop as each of us soaked in what he had to say. He said, ‘there’s a chance that I may make you mad at some point when I challenge your beliefs, and if that does happen just hit ‘flush.’’ So many nuggets of wisdom being shared and we brought out our smart phones to take photos of his slides so that we would not miss a thing.

I thought to myself, I want to capture more than just a photo of his words, and pulled an empty journal and pen from my bag. The journal, given to me by the author of a book filled with mystery, represented the opportunity to write my own story on its’ blank pages with a pen handcrafted by a local artisan. In my hands were tools of creativity. And I wrote my name, the Hawaiian name myDarlin’ Robert Kenui Pope gave to me when we first met, on the first page. “This journal belongs to Makalani.” The words I write are not my own, but my interpretation of what he said and the ideas that originate from those words don’t belong to me, but to anyone who gazes upon and embraces them.

Reframing life….how do you interpret life? myDarlin’ said to me one day as we were driving down the road to home, ‘I can’t imagine ever being without you baby.’ ‘Me either Darlin’, me either’, I replied. Reframing my life becomes quite literal now, for going forward that frame only has me, not me and him. Snapping back into the moment, it was as if I was observing the room but as in a movie not a participant. ‘You have to be willing to do something really scary in the service of what your passion is….’ He couldn’t possibly know that sometimes it’s just plain scary facing the day without myDarlin’ by my side. I pause for a moment, and hear myDarlin’ say, ‘don’t be skeered, just trust in the Lord.’ ‘I do myDarlin’, I do and he has answered your prayer of giving me peace and understanding.’ He said to all of us that we are just here on this earth for a short moment, a flicker of time, so why worry about things that really don’t matter. I smiled and nodded my head in agreement, as we had learned this lesson years and years ago.

And his wish for what we would take out of his talk, was this. When this year is finished and you look back over it, ask yourself: Did you find joy in your life? Did you go somewhere you have never been? What do you have to lose? And I will reply, ‘Yes my friend, I found joy in the extraordinary moments that look strangely like ordinary in this strange new world, a world I had never been to before, a world without myDarlin’.

Tonight, as I close my journal, clip the pen on the cover and place it into my bag, I am filled with gratitude knowing that this coming year both I, and life itself will challenge me in ways I cannot begin to imagine. And in the challenge I shall trust in the Lord, and find joy every step of the way.

#KeepLookingUp #GetUnstuck #FindingJoy

Gratitude Journal – Day 197 – January 14, 2015

Silence is….

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golden, they say – but just what does that mean? For can we really communicate without saying a word? Or rather do we have to speak out loud to be heard? As I was looking through photographs, I found this one from 2010 that really makes me smile.

As myDarlin and I were sitting at our desks, coincidentally right next to each other, me editing photos and he video clips of the band, a piece of paper fell to the floor from the printer. I knew that I didn’t send anything to the printer, and as I looked at him, he just smiled and I could see the love in his eyes.

It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word, you can light up the dark
Try as I may, I could never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing

Today I am grateful for a love that doesn’t need words, one that is felt with the heart and communicated with only a glance. And as I look to the sky, I smile and know that he knows I love him.

#KeepLookingUp #SilenceisGolden

Gratitude Journal – Day 196 – January 13, 2015

I always thought…
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my ‘lucky’ number was 7, and in so many ways it still is after all we have a combined family of seven. Today, it dawned on me that three keeps presenting itself to me over and over. I have been praying about three items and decided that instead of worrying, I would just turn each one of them over to God… and that I did. And not only did he take my worry away, each of the three items turned out well. And I bowed my head and said, ‘Thank you dear Lord.’
Arriving home, I checked the mail and found three pieces of mail – none of which was for me. (that’s a great thing!) And I started really thinking about the number three.
- Three little birds – remind me to ‘not worry’
- Three kisses every time myDarlin' Robert Kenui Popeand I would walk into the house – remind me of the love in my life
- Three guitar picks found in myDarlin’s pocket the day he left - remind me of music being a constant in our life
- Three wrought iron flowers myDarlin’ bought for me during the spring of 2014 – remind me that love never dies.
- Three second video of myDarlin’ saying ‘Good morning baby, I love you…’ reminds me that all I have to do is listen and I can hear him.

And as I look back at photos, I see the one of the dress that I only wore three times. The first in Hawaii as we walked the beach, the second the day we got married and the third the day all of us gathered to celebrate myDarlin’s life. And then I realize as I look to the heavens why the number three is on my mind… I am grateful for the Blessed Trinity; the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost, and turn my cares over in prayer…


#KeepLookingUp #TrustintheLord #LuckyNumber3

Gratitude Journal – Day 195 – January 12, 2015

Lost and ….

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found. Sometimes I think to myself that God has the biggest ‘Lost and Found’ collection ever. He knows where your keys are when you’re trying to rush out the door, the money you just knew you had in your pocket, the kids gloves when they are headed for the bus stop, your Kona banner….

Little did he or the band know that when he stopped in for a slice of pizza, that he was about to meet lifelong friends. And as we ‘worked the room’, or is that patio?, we greeted him and got to know him a bit. And he came out to hear the band many times, each one of which he would request ‘Sweet Caroline’. myDarlin’ Robert Kenui Pope and the others would always respond, ‘we don’t know that one’ as they secretly didn’t really want to do it. But he was so faithful in his support of Kona, that during practice in Leilani’s Aloha Lounge everyone agreed that they should really add it to the set list.

As he regularly did, he joined Kona on the patio for a slice of pizza and Aloha, and then much to his surprise the band played ‘Sweet Caroline’ when he requested it this time. And the smiles and laughter filled the air on the patio. Ba-Ba-Ba! And he had a banner made for Kona that would become part of the regular set up during every show. Then one day, which is hard to put one’s finger on, the banner was no longer to be found. myDarlin and I searched everywhere we could think of, the trailer, Leilani’s, the venues Kona had played, and even the dryer as it is known to eat socks…. All to no avail, the banner was nowhere to be found.

And myDarlin’ had flags made for Kona so that everyone would know they were playing just a few short steps away. It became my job to set up the flags with each gig, and I was so happy to see how they made myDarlin’ smile as they waved in the breeze. And even as myDarlin’ left us, the flags graced the ends of our drive in his honor for months and months, only taken down when the winds became too strong.

As they walked up the stairs to the kitchen with her famous bean dip and chips, I spied it in his arms….. a rolled up banner and I knew immediately what it was. The band was here today, and it is fitting that the banner came back home with him today. For the banner had been in a case in his garage all of this time, most likely unloaded after a gig. Lost, maybe not…. Found, yes….

Today I am filled with gratitude as God allows us to find him whenever we are lost. And when I find myself missing myDarlin’ and feeling lost without him, I look inside my heart and find him right there in paradise with our Lord.

‪#‎KeepLookingUp‬ ‪#‎LostandFound‬