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Into the future. So many memories, so much to write, yet they sometimes slip from my fingertips and I pray they will fall onto my keyboard instead of into the abyss. I look about and see what is not there, not a ghost but a memory. There sits an extremely large white leather chair quite out of place in the middle of the living room, and next to the window sits the end table or myDarlin’s command center. And while it was the most mis-matched décor that ever graced this home, it was the most beautiful piece of furniture in my eyes.
For just as when we were moving from one apartment into the next and were shopping for furniture to meet our needs, we asked our friends, our Ohana as we were preparing to leave the hospital that cold day in March for a large recliner for myDarlin’ Robert Kenui Pope to rest in. And practically before I could hit post, the messages poured in. myDarlin’ spent so much time in that wonderful chair, and we gathered around to take photographs as Ohana came to visit. And on his command center were the essentials; tissues, iPad, iPhone, chargers, remotes, blood pressure cuff, water and breathing exercise device. And we moved the TV into the living room where it had never been before so that he could stay informed with the news, the history channel and Big Bang Theory….
After a while, it was time for me to go back to work and I dreaded leaving him alone so much that my Father came to stay with him for a month or so. Every morning before I would leave for work, I would open the blinds to let the light in and let his spirit roam outside where it longed to be. And as I would leave for work, he said to me in a half-dozing state, ‘Thank you Baby, you’re beautiful’ to which I would say, ‘you can’t even see me, your eyes are closed.’ He would reply, ‘I don’t have to see you to know that you are.’
I talked with a friend who is going in for surgery about being put under. Count backwards from 10……. Fuzzy ringing calling your name gently, opening your eyes, foggy, wondering where you are at – your surgery was a success …. He said to me, ‘it’s like a black hole of time’ and what seems like a couple of seconds was actually hour, time that you’ll never be able to remember or get back. He said, ‘I wonder if that’s what it’s like when you die’, to which I replied ‘no, no, it is not.’ Funny how I know that it is not, yet I have never experienced it. For it is by faith that I know when we take our last breath that we are met at the gates of heaven by a host of angels welcoming us home.
Today, I am filled with gratitude for the grace of God for saving me when I don’t deserve it. For allowing me to know what I cannot possibly know; for planting hope, trust and faith in my heart and watering it each day so that it grows with each day that passes. I close my eyes and hear this song as I see myDarlin’ in his chair by the window.
Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin' Into the future
Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin' Into the future
I want to fly like an eagle to the sea
Fly like an eagle let my spirit carry me
I want to fly like an eagle till I'm free
Oh, Lord, through the revolution
#KeepLookingUp #TrustintheLord #FlyLikeanEagle
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