Gratitude Journal – Day 111 – October 19, 2014

Today was the first…
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of many firsts that we will all experience since you left us myDarlin’ Robert Kenui Pope. Today was your first birthday in heaven and our first holiday without you here with us. And even though it was hard, and we miss you something fierce, we did feel your presence as we celebrated your life. 

Knowing that we had an early wake up to go hiking, I set multiple alarms on both mine and your phone to make sure that I wouldn’t be late. A dog barks, I hit snooze, the chimes ring, I hit snooze, a car horn honks, I hit snooze and then a familiar song by one of our friends blares on the iHome, ‘Baby let me tell you you’re the one’. I get up and say, “myDarlin’ you’re the one!” I leave the music playing as I step into the shower, and hear the song Summertime play through the Bose, and think to myself how apropos.

One of these mornings
You're going to rise up singing
Then you'll spread your wings
And you'll take to the sky

I stand under the shower, water streaming through my hair onto my face joining tears as they fall as one to the shower floor. I realize that Summertime has passed and smile as I hear the song ‘Will you still love me tomorrow’ filling the room. I slip on my jeans and t-shirt with the words Love, Love, Love, Love then head out the door quickly as I don’t want to be late.

We hike to the top of the mountain with our friends (2/3 of the way up for me), and what we see is enough to take your breath away as the view of blue skies, fluffy white clouds, mountains, streams, lakes and flat land is clear all the way to Tennessee. And on the way up, you showed your youngest a stone shaped like a heart, and she gave it to me. Thank you myDarlin’. All you need is love.

We sang Happy Birthday to you, we cried, we prayed, we laughed, we shared memories, we sat in the Indian seats and we took photos (of course!). And when we released a small portion of your ashes on that mountaintop, the wind brought them back to us as in a hug from you from heaven. We carved on the railings along with all of the others before us, Pope ‘14 and Keep Looking Up 10-18-14. As we turned to walk away, she said, “Look at the heart cloud” and we knew it was a gift from you.

The day had just begun myDarlin’, so we went to our favorite restaurant Waffle House. We reveled in the conversation, the simple food and coffee, and friendly service that made it our favorite to begin with. And as I look around, I remember that this is my first trip to Waffle House since you left us myDarlin’, and think of our last trip to our Waffle House during the wee hours of June 21st when we talked of music, Ohana and our ten year plan.

Your birthday celebration has worn us out, so we all go to our respective homes to take an afternoon nap, which is exactly what you would have done. I found myself downloading photos (go figure) instead, and hurrying off to meet the girls at our next stop for the day – a Tattoo Shoppe in Buckhead.

And my birthday present to you this year myDarlin’ is to get a tattoo in your memory. Last night as I was drawing a heart based on a bass clef, I decided to search the internet to see what has already been done. Lo and behold a beautiful heart with a bass and treble clef adorned by a hibiscus flower is staring me in the face. And this morning when I began to talk about what I wanted, she pulled one up on her phone and said this one? It’s as if you chose your own gift and all I had to do was ‘just do it’. The girls went with me and watched as the artist created the heart, yours and mine myDarlin’.

Around the corner (well almost), we pulled into the parking lot at Flip Burger Boutique and I think back to last year when I surprised you. You tried to guess where we were going the whole way there and were wrong on every guess, but ever so excited when we pulled in, and more excited to find that the girls were joining us. You let me choose your clothes (not outfit, because guys don’t wear outfits – LOL!), so we wore pink. Your pink Elvis shirt is now part of a quilt and will forever remind us of your birthday. We ordered the signature milkshakes (Key Lime, Capn’ Crunch and Krispy Kreme Donut), fried pickles and burgers and vowed to start our diets tomorrow.

And as the day comes to a close, I am grateful that God chose you for me and me
for you. I am grateful for our love, our children, our Ohana and the promise of eternal life. I love you myDarlin’.

#KeepLookingUp #AllYouNeedIsLove #HappyBirthdaymyDarlin