Saturday, August 2, 2014

Gratitude Journal – Day 19 – July 19, 2014


How many times have you heard this simple phrase? And how many times have you actually followed it? I have a confession to make…. I am somewhat of a ‘control freak’. I know, I know, that is your ‘surprised look’, right? Robert & I have always tried to do our best by leading by example in our respective careers, hobbies and relationships. We would even joke around saying, “When did we grow up and become responsible adults?” It is important to also understand that doing your best does not mean one is perfect, but rather that you strive to continually learn and improve.  

On Sunday, the day that Robert left our earthly world for a gig in God’s House Band, I imagined him wearing a lei and briefly thought to myself that I must order leis for his Memorial Service. The next day was somewhat of a blur as we made preparations and I wondered how it would all get done. There were photos to gather, a music playlist to make, memorial website, memorial cards, Memorial service program, memorial fund to set up and more that I am not thinking of right now. I found myself speaking a wish, and our wonderful Ohana taking each task and efficiently getting it done. Imagine three wives, seven kids, four grandkids and extended Ohana all under one roof working like a well-oiled machine. I, and I know that Robert would join in this sentiment, was so proud of everyone for using their talents and love to prepare for his service.

Monday night, it hit me Robert’s service was Wednesday and I hadn’t ordered leis yet. I frantically posted on Facebook, asking for recommendations to see if anyone knew of a mainland or local shop to be able to order leis from as the shipment from Hawaii wouldn’t arrive until Thursday. Many replied, but the answer with all was still Thursday. I felt like a failure, that I had missed my window of opportunity. I told God “I give up’ and resigned myself to the fact that we wouldn’t have leis at myDarlin’s service.

Tuesday morning as I sat outside of Guitar Center waiting for it to open so that I could purchase a stand for Robert’s upright bass, I saw a private message come thru on FB saying that a fellow musician friend would be donating a large tropical focal arrangement for the service. I replied that we really appreciate the thought, but would rather a small donation be made to Robert’s Memorial Fund which is being used for our youngest son’s, Kawika, education.  I called our friend, who let me know that he is a floral designer and it was his gift to us to create the tropical arrangement. He also asked me what type of flowers and leaves were used in the leis we were looking at, as he had never made leis, but could try to secure the materials for us if we could do it ourselves. I asked my son Chris to talk to Roger and by 2:00PM that afternoon, several of our kids were meeting him at the local Cracker Barrel to pick up a large box of orchids, carnations and tea leaves.

A little later in the afternoon, I walked into Leilani’s Aloha Lounge (our garage for those who may not know this) to sounds of Hawaiian music and laughter drifting through the air, leaves being ironed and braided, and flowers being strung. It was then that I knew we weren’t supposed to order leis from Hawaii. Making the leis for Robert was part of the healing process for our Ohana.
I am grateful for the very real lessons that God taught me that day. Even though I had entrusted others to do the many labors of love in preparation for the service, it wasn’t until I surrendered my desire and need to order leis that God took over. Let go & Let God…..


#KeepLookingUp  


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