Saturday, August 2, 2014

Gratitude Journal – Day 23 – July 23, 2014


Ever since the first day I met myDarlin’ and long before that, he had a cataract on his eye. He said that it stemmed from his days as a swimmer/surfer back in Hawaii and was convinced that it would just come back if removed. It never seemed to alter his outlook on life. myDarlin’ could look at a photograph of a beach or a wave and then tell you what island and beach it was taken at, accompanied by a personal story about that specific beach.

I was mesmerized by stories of his adventures growing up in Hawaii, and the lyrical rhythm of the Hawaiian language. When I asked him what the Hawaiian translation of my name would be, he said that he would rather give me a name that described me and how he felt about me. “As seen through beautiful eyes, Makalani, is your name” myDarlin’ said as he gave me a kiss.

Years passed, and myDarlin’ continued to notice the small details, as I also did photographing my interpretation of the world as we know it. Eventually both of our eyes (or should I say all four of our eyes?...) grew a little weaker, so we stocked up on Dollar Store reading glasses. Black, purple, white, red – it didn’t matter just as long as there was a pair nearby.

A clear acrylic box of ‘Table Topics’ sits on the buffet in our ‘Elvis Den’ (that’s a story for another day) filled with questions that really make you ponder decisions and your personal beliefs. I reached in and blindly chose a card, then read it to myDarlin’.  If you had to choose one, would you rather lose your sight or your hearing? As I thought about the question, Robert immediately answered hearing. He said that he would always be able to remember sounds and could still feel vibrations, but didn’t want to live in a world of darkness.

Last year myDarlin’ suffered a stroke which left him irreversibly blind in his left eye, but he was ecstatic to still be able to see his family, friends and the sunrise from the hospital window. Since he only had one good eye, it was time to get a real pair of glasses which became part of his signature look.  Robert never complained about not being able to see out of his left eye, and if it weren’t for one lens of his glasses often being smudged, I probably would have forgotten it too. In fact, one day as he was driving on one of our impromptu trips, I was really having trouble remembering which eye it was so began to move my hand wildly to the side and front of his right eye. I can still hear him saying, 

“What in the world are you doing? I can see you!” LOL!

As I am going through my old texts, I found this one (in the photo below) and had to share his fun sense of humor with you dear Ohana. “Josh was reading something small and wanted to borrow my glasses. I gave them to him and told him that he could keep them. ‘They are almost like new, I only use one side.’” Always such a jokester.

After myDarlin’ had passed, I sat numb in a room waiting for the next hospital representative to come to me asking me to make many decisions. Even though everyone was very kind and compassionate, it was a surreal experience for all of us there. A gentleman, I think his name was Tim, came to me with his flip phone saying that Linda from Life Link was on the line and wanted to talk to me about donating myDarlin’s eyes. Before I could even engage my brain, my mouth opened and said, ‘He’s only got one, but I’m sure he would want you to have it.’  Even in a time of despair, his sense of humor and positive outlook was channeled through me. I love you myDarlin’!

I know that myDarlin’ was called home, that he saw glorious heavens and the welcoming arms of our Savior.   I am filled with gratitude as I know that his eyes will help another person to physically ‘see’ and all of us to truly see the beauty in life.

What do you see?


#KeepLookingUp

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